An excerpt from the soon-to-be-released I Has the Parkinson’s.
Me? Sick? Well, not really. I don’t have swine flu. I’m not down with a fever or anything like that. In fact, I’m not really sick.
I don’t see myself as sick anymore. Sure, this is a disease. But do I qualify as “sick”? Maybe you have the “sniffles” or have the dreaded “walking pneumonia” (is there a “crawling,” “lying down,” “jogging” type as well?) or have the mumps or enjoy watching Lost in Space reruns 24/7. If this is you, then I consider you “sick.”
But me? I’m not sick.
Am I run down? No. I’m fine. Now if I have been recently trampled by a herd of cattle frightened by another thunderstorm for the umpteenth time or by my wife in our car because she just found out I’ve been unfaithful to her (I’m not married, this is just an example), then I would consider myself “run down.” But now? Me? Nope.
Then what am I? Under the weather? We are all under the weather. Unless we are astronauts flying above the surface of the planet, which in that case we would be “above the weather,” then that would be different. And if you were flying up in a space ship racing above the earth I guess you could have the flu but technically still be “above the weather” even though you were “under the weather.” Or is it the other way around?
So no. I am not sick. I have Parkinson’s disease and sometimes it is harder to deal with than other times, but I am not sick nor run down nor under the weather. I just have Parkinson’s disease.
True, as of late I am not doing that well with PD. Like others with the young-onset variety I have horrible pain in the soles of my feet. But I still have soul. I have a constant Charlie horse in my left calf muscle, but my inner child is somewhat disappointed that I neither have a real horse named “Charlie” or a newborn cow. I am also fatigued beyond description, but I am tired of dealing with that.
So what am I, really? Complaining? Not really. Depressed? That would be a welcome change, but alas, no (which is somewhat depressing now that I think about it). And I don’t want to go see any one of my doctors again. Not right now. I am sick of that, if you ask me.
But me? Sick? Not really. Dressed only in underwear as I write this? Likely. But you’re probably dressed in the same thing as you read this.
Does that make us “sick”? Maybe, perhaps to some people. Funny how my discussing undergarments might classify me as sick, but my disease, well that is hard to say.
Does anybody know? Does anybody care? Not really. And I don’t really care that there might not be anybody who does or doesn’t. Not right now.
Why not? Because I don’t feel well. And why not? Hmm, maybe I’m coming down with something.
Hmm, come to think of it, maybe I am sick.
This posting comes at a perfect time. Carl is not actually sick, but is beginning his Thanksgiving vacation. Except for Bad Kitty this Friday and the special Bad Kitty parade of videos coming next Wednesday, Carl’s posts will stop for a while until he returns from eating fattening foods and digests them.
Carl returns to blogging on Friday December 11 with an all-new Bad Kitty post. And if you are signed up for the newsletter you will hear from Carl on Monday November 23rd for the first issue of IHTP in your email (so sign up if you need a little more Carl between now and Turkey Day).
Till then, everyone have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving.
Exerpt from I Has the Parkinson’s courtesy of Bogus Productions and Lulu, Inc. Copyright © 2009 by Carl Hernz. All rights reserved.