Well, another storm has come and gone here on the Floridian panhandle coast. From the amount of direct hurricane hits we keep getting here, I have come to the conclusion that the name of my town “Pensacola” means “Nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah!” in Hurricanese, because they sure like to hit us a lot.
It could also be [...]

Do you know why I am the way that I am? It’s because I haven’t pooped enough.
Yes, my Aunt China is at it again. While there have been no sightings of the “zombie” version of Mr. Patas (and it would be perfect for Halloween if there had been), this does not keep my Aunt from [...]

My Aunt China had a dog named Señor Patas, a Spanish name which roughly translates into English as “Mr. Feets.” He was a pathetic pressed-ham of a dog, squatty beyond measure, dark brown, a face that looked like he chased brick walls repeatedly, and tiny teeth that resembled the thin ends of tooth picks, a [...]